My family,Hatim,Nunu,Sally,Yani,Yunis and Riyan my nephew. I can't imagine how my life would be like without ANY of them. I then realised,i take things for granted. Even in my relationship,sometimes,i take Tim for granted although he understand my nature is like that. The trivial matter we argued some nights without putting an end although i know dragging it longer isn't gonna do any good. The stupid/silly remarks i gave to Yani and Yunis everytime in class. Other mistakes/misunderstandings i had with my family. Having someone to talk to when i'm down and really need someone to really understand me and my situation - Nunu <--- She's the perfect person i can talk to. For some bitchy times i had with Sally. Being cute and tolerate Riyan's nonsense and cuteness.
After being in the situation which i'm literally not used to,i then started realising ALOT of things. Dare to think of the consequences and whatever mistakes i did all this while. Give myself a chance to open up my heart and change for the better. Cause sometimes,i didn't dare to think what might happen if arguments between me and Tim were to continue on without stop? What if his level of patience are running low? What if he can't tolerate my nonsense anymore? I haven't been thinking of that as i thought,Tim had promised me that he won't leave me for anything no matter what and that things like that won't happen. You know,these 3 days have given me a chance to really think like a grown-up person. Really.
Write down the problems and the solutions on pieces of paper - that's one of the way i did to get things back on track. Late night call,your messages,your voice - i really really miss them =( i've been reapproaching myself for those terrible things which took place cause i know,they are certainly my fault. Every of them. I don't wanna apologise yet,cause i know,everyone else can do the same thing. But for now,all i gotta do is to convince you that i'm changing and prove to you that i'm not lying. I may have broken the promised once,but i'm not gonna disappoint/hurt you for the second time. I can't afford to hurt you again when you've done ALOT for us,but what about me? I did nothing. And give me another chance to do my part for this,just for once. That's all i'm asking for baby.
And Nunu,thanks alot for being there. You're really nice,really really nice. After a long day,she made me smile,like finally hor! She understand my situation well and understands me. After the long talk with her hours ago,i've started to feel way better,waaaay better than i am compared to the last 2 days. I've stopped crying,start to relax and take things easy. Told me alot of stuffs and shared with me about her relationship with Vam. How they manage things well. How to give oneself space and time alone for sometime. Ahhh,she's totally the best although i've only known her for almost 8months now. I love you lor~ and yes,i miss you too. We'll bitch about some stuff soooooooooooon =]
And now,all i gotta to is to be patience and wait. And Dilla,tell me something about tomorrow's plan for Tim =] And baby,i still love you so much cause you meant the world to me. And,you're the BEST BOYFRIEND in this BIGBIGBIG world. No one can ever replace you,never. That's a promise.
Labels: all i need is just you
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