Labels: The thoughts i have right now.

Labels: i love you

Labels: Believe it or not, You've changed to the worst

CHEEKIEST uncle ever alive,i swear. (most favourite)

In our BIGBIGBIG house. (big = just nice to play catching)

I didn't gained weight,infact,i lost them =)

(It's 8am in the morning,now)


Deepavali was spent with Fikah at the very first place as both of us were bored at home and decided to haunt for her dance pants at Town area. It was all a LAST MINUTE plan la huh. After which,we decided to try finding them at Bugis area after we failed to find one down at the Town area. Had our late lunch at LJS,it was a treat from her for my super BELATED BIRTHDAY (hahaha,finally). Bought some gorgeous bangles and earrings! (da mcm girl-girl lor now) =D And so,at night,we met Reezan,Nabeelah and Wan. Hangout at Bugis Junction's Starbucks. It was just an 2hours meet-up but it was so FUN laughing at each other's joke and nonsense. Fikah went off earlier as she had some dance-meeting with her dance crew and so,it's just the 4 of us left.


At 9,we decided to get going as Nebeelah had school early tomorrow. So,took train with them,and then,left me and Reezan only after they alighted at City Hall. It was crazy as there's fucking lot of Bangladesh and for some,they're damn drunk. There's even one,who keeps on staring and smiling at me,WITHOUT FAILED. It was damn fucking scaryy,i swear. I told Reezan to stand right infront and close to me,so that he could block that fucking Bangla. I was scared to be left alone,so Reezan was damn nice to send me till Bukit Batok =D HAHA. Baik ehh. So,reached Bukit Batok,toilet break and then,send me to bustop. At night,chatted with Wan Nvm19,like usual. He was half-asleep while talking to me,BASKET. And now,he owed me a Black Snowcap for doing that! Cool eh! =DD


For the very last time;
It was nice to cry my heart out on sunday night over the phone with Yani. Just for once,i let everything all out. And just for this once,i'll get myself to think of him for the very LAST time and then,just for once,i've pray that i'll continue on to be strong and not to cry anymore,and get him out of my mind as a boyfriend/lover (no longer is?). I don't know,really. Well,i've finally figured what i should to answer my mum IF she were to ask about me and Tim - Fate is not with us,i guess? (dah tkder jodoh lor) HAHA. After a long cry,i finally felt so damn RELIEVE and NICE after waking up on the very next day (yesterday). So yeah,i won't wanna hang on there,i'll just move on for now although i've promised to wait for him. But,i THINK i still love him. No,i don't know. We're still dating,i guess. We'll let FATE decide la huh. But one thing for sure,i'm certainly NOT breaking up my promises or go back to my words. I'm not,certainly NOT.

Labels: NEW BLOG SKINN LATER ON

Kampong glam tripp.

Taman Skodeng - i love him,very much.

# 1 Sunshine- Riyan Nephew --> cutest,the one i love most.

5 years of friendship Ifah.

So much more for the massage lah huh - Deck.

One of the emcee for the day - HOT.
Hiphop Fiesta Dance Competiton 2007 - We got the 1st and 2nd place((:

GORGEOUS GIRLFRIENDS.

Korea - i love you.

Tiny sister
Blood sisters
She's just crazy like me - Zanna

A little on the kid's side

He likes to touch-touch,HAHA. (YOUR touch)
Those were the days when everyone's together - MISSED.

National Police Cadet Corp

Marilyn Monroe

Monkey business (cause i look like one,haha)


Mama paparazzi,Damn unglamourous.


Passenger Service HOOOOT and SKINNYYY basist.
You will always be part of me,B - ALWAYS


Retarded.


Last day of school =(

#2 sunshine - Muhaimin Nephew

When Usamah looks like a caucasion guyy.


I just love her -Yani

Best picture quality! Timmy,buy for me DSLR D90 lah! =DD
WE can have those times back again,promise.


Feeeeeeeeee~

SVC - those were the memories.

The day when it changes everything - 07th Feb 2008
I love that day,very muchh <333


Colgate advertisement.


Ilyana - 9 years of friendship! Long eh? I know.

Silly moments.

Hoodies business with the best girls.

Pictures with the STARS.

69 inches of gorgeous stuffs.

TRIPLE DATEEEEE! Awesome =D

He's a rugger (i love ruggers) and a cousin of mine. He's SEXY and i love him!

The cousin i love the most((:

It's just another day passed.
Stay strong and positive,and everything will go on YOUR way.
I love it that I'm strong to face everything.
That's the strong of LOVE.

I LOVE YOU,and i will ALWAYS DO.
That's my promise to you((:
I MISS YOU,MUCH :(

❤ "" was Posted On: Wednesday, October 22, 2008 @17:53 | 0 lovely comments ✿

To world you might be but ONE,

but to one you might be the WORLD.

I've known about you going for your NS hours ago. It'll be like 5/6 months from now-24th April 2009 at Pulau Tekong. And i don't think it's gonna be long from now. And within this short period of time,i would definitely try my very best to make our relations closer compared to now cause like Afiq,i don't want us to drift apart alright. Neither do i want her to be close to you before you go or whatsoever. But whatever,i'll do my best for everything. I'll still wait for you no matter how long it takes,i will.

For the very first time in my whole entire life,i'm like using this laptop in my bedroom when everyone's asleep. IN MY ROOM,alone. How cool can that be? VERY lah okay((: It's not a big deal anyway,hahaha. Oh anyhoooes,great news for today! After forever,i've got a NEW NEPHEW-Muhammad Nurhan Bin Muhammad Iz Fazly. Cool right? I know. Sexciting right? So,im going to like visit him tomorrow over at the hospital. Another visit to the same old hospital,boring nyer :(

And,as everyone knows,i'm NOT a person who falls in love easily. And so,i don't think its a good idea of you promising me that you'll love me or whatsoever. You knew NOTHING about me,not even to spell my name right. And dude,it's not like as if i don't know,you'll just gonna use me just so you could forget your ex-girlfriend who leads you to depression,right? I'm sorry,but you made the wrong move. And no,i will NEVER fall for your trap,bitch. Cause you mess with the wrong person. And the best part was,although you're HOT,you're simply NOT my cup of tea. Back off and get a life. Or maybe,find whats the real meaning of love or something. It'll be better. And i feel like vomitting now. The cheese prata i ate,totally suckk hardcoreeee :(

I'll never cheat on you,cause you're the only one i'm in love with.

And i'm proving it,i'm strong((:

I'll get the BEST,I WILL

Labels: to India very sooooon :(

❤ "" was Posted On: Tuesday, October 21, 2008 @02:15 | 0 lovely comments ✿

Out to Nurie's and Bob's open house. It's when the WEST side girl come all over to the EAST side,it's a total chaos. It's me right,what else can you say? HAHA =D And so,i asked my Nabeelah Bby to tag along and yeaaaap! It's been so long since we last met! I love her and to Nurie too,may you have a safe journey! Love them girls((: And Bobbbbyyy! Love kau jugak lah okay! =DD

(just click on the picture and copy paste them girl)

I was waring this whole "kimono" blouse which my mum bought me on my birthday when everyone looked at me or even stared at me like as if my nose is not in place or something like that. And i don't know why,most people are CLUMSY today and it's horribly bad i tell you. Alot,damn lot of people step on my toe/foot,some who's pushing the pram which hurts my leg,for some who's like an idiot and just push me till my beg falls. And which i have to squeeze myself inside the train and smell this old lady who stinks ALOT! *faints* Omg,it's really crazy. And i hate that. I mean,who does right? In anyways,i ate Lontong the whole entire day! Nicee kan? And im full now! hahahaha((: JOG FOR TOMORROW WITH MY SEXY MOMMA ZANNA! =D

My parents NEVER allows me to work,but its kinda weird today. My dad's friend wanted to have some part-time workers on his LAWYER FIRM (admins stuffs/office work) and he asked my dad to ask me since im doing nothing for the holidays so that i could join his daughter and her bestfriend to work there. I said i don't know but my dad told me its a good work,an easy one and with GOOD PAY! =DD And with me who can just sit infront of the pc for the whole day and who can type so fast,why not? HAHA. I then said YES but my elder sister is crazy,she said NO. As she thinks it's unfair as she've never work while waiting for her results. Whatever,i don't care. Cause i need money to buy my mum her new VACUUM before i turn OLD! hahahaha,nonsense.

GOOD DAY FOXY LADIES!

i love Timmy!

Labels: A day nearer each time((:

❤ "" was Posted On: Sunday, October 19, 2008 @00:25 | 0 lovely comments ✿

"B,my nipple" <--- His caption for the picture.

Good things happen to people who wait - MIMZ

And i'm totally good((: I'm behaving very well,i'm more understanding now and i'm more patience than ever. I've never regret the things i've did to/for him. Only that,i can't afford to hurt him again,i wanna give the best. I will,but i gotta stay calm,relax,be patience and just wait. And to continue on praying for the best of course((: I'm changing like how he wants me to be,yes,i am changing. I'll love you,forever. That's my promise until whenever. Yes,i'll never stop loving you Timmy. But IF we can't be together again,i'll just have to learn to live without you. I'm glad,you came into my life once and light up my life although it's just for a short while((: I'm proud to be your girl babyy,i certainly am((:

She's just on obstacle i gotta overcome. Here's are one of my biggest challenge in life. No matter what,i really have to face and overcome it,with PATIENCE. God will always be beside me. Take this time to really figured out how i should get things back on track and i will certainly do my very best to own them back. But if there's no way i can,i'll just be strong and accept the fate which is given to me.

It's gonna be on the 11th November 2008,Tuesday.

Not many people knew about it. I only tell those whom i think i need to cause people may think i'm lying cause i look totally healthy,whatever. I don't know if i'm gonna be fine,or maybe,just maybe,die? Life is so unpredictable,we won't know what might happen,right? Just pray for the best,it'll definitely help cause i believe in praying. I have to meet him the day before,cause he's the ONLY strength i've got - and he agreed((: Cause baby,you're the reason why i'm breathing right now.

I'LL LOVE YOU FOREVER BABYY,I WILL((:

Labels: what if he takes my life?

❤ "" was Posted On: Thursday, October 16, 2008 @12:45 | 0 lovely comments ✿

12 midnight message for the lovely one.

My friends are always telling me to move on,to give up. But why? Why should i? They don't see you the way i see you. They don't look into your eyes and see the world. Why would they understand? They can't possibly imagine what it means to look at your bestfriend and see all their hopes and dreams come true. I wish for once,just once,they could walk a mile in my shoes. But they wouldn't need to walk that far,they would just take one step and suddenly,they would realise you're my life,you were meant for me. And that moving on or giving up,is simply not an option.

Sweets,if i can give you ONE thing in life,i would still give you the ability to see for yourself through my eyes. Only then you'll realise how special you are to me.

It's the 14th. A very complicated and confused situation,but i'm trying my very best to fix everything,god's willing((: I'm waiting for you with an open heart,till whenever. I'll get the doctor to refer me to the hospital very soon,and i'll tell you what happened to me eversince sunday night. So that you won't think i'll be lying kay. I'm scared if anything might happened to me :( Pray hard,cause you're the ONLY strength i've got. I might not know what might happened to me now. Life is so unpredictable. But,i'll love you forever. I will baby((: That's my promise,until whenever.

I want those times back <---- That's what he said =D

Labels: costochondritis or worst to come :(

❤ "" was Posted On: Tuesday, October 14, 2008 @19:57 | 0 lovely comments ✿

I slept at 6am in the morning and i had 4 hours of sleep,ONLY. I'm sitting infront of my pc,yes i just brokedown for the second time. I'm unsure why,why am i behaving this way. You kept running through my mind every single time,every single hour,every single minute and every single seconds with me not knowing what's the actual reasons for it. Prolly,when they say,If you can't get someone out off your mind,they're probably supposed to be there((: Well i guess,that's just true huh. I've changed,i'm a stronger Dilla now,a stronger one which is strong enough to face my biggest challenges in my life,which of course,takes up alot of patience. Its love we're talking about,so,it is so unpredictable,right?

My biggest fear right now if you were to start getting closer and closer to her than you are to me. Or maybe,start having night conversation with her,now that you had stopped doing them to me. Or maybe,just maybe,you start liking her? I don't know. Oh god,if only i can read god's fate. And that you slowly gonna start forgetting whatever we shared,whatever we had once. We may have not literally broke up,but i just feel like as if we're hanging somewhere although we're back to square one. The love is there,just a little bit,not that strong enough. But i believe in myself and my instinct which constantly tells me,deep in your heart,yes,you still love me very much like you do. Yes baby,you do. And that you're sure enough to give me the final chance to prove it. But on my side,i have to get myself prepared for the worst,like what people around me tells me. Although somtimes,i know you won't leave me.

He's EXACTLY the same as Tim. In sense of characters,in sense of how they behaved. Only that he's an indian-catholic guy,he's 16 and yeah,i've known him for 1 and a half years instead of 3? On how he spoke to me,really recalls me back on our late night calls. I mean,it's a miracle right now that i've found Tim's "twin"? Cool huh. And,i tried to get myself closer to him,like you told to me to start dating other guys instead of holding on,i just cant :( whenever i tried,i'll just breakdown,like what i'm doing now -crying. No matter how i tried to fill in my laughter on his phone calls,you're always there to remind me that our love has not ended,not yet. Some other couple may have the worst scenario of their love life,but ours isn't the worst. Well,at the very least,i'm holding on to my promises and fix it right. And,i'm proud of that,totally.

I'll still be waiting for you,and for our meet-upps. I don't mind on waiting for how long it's gonna be,i don't mind. Cause once i've said,no one can ever replace you although it's your "twin",thats' it. NO ONE. I'm sorry if this post really makes you bored,but i can't help it. I have to let it all out. But hey,no matter what,i'm glad that at the very least,we exchange few messages every single day. And with my nature like this,i'm just too sad that i don't have you anymore to share with when my mum's start to nag at me for no reason,and times where my body starts aching or something and the times when i want someone to pity me over something :( No matter what,i'd still say you're the GREATEST thing that has ever happened to me,no doubt about it. Although they may say,you CAN find someone else better in future,but,no one can totally understand me and my nature,like you did,right? And so,i just gotta pray hard from now,hopefully things are gonna be back fine. It's been almost a month,now :(

Before i blew my candle on my birthday this year,i wished for us - I wished that things will be totally back fine and that i'll be back again with you,very soon and we'll have our almost perfect relationship,again. <------- touching kan? i know.

To end this,

--> I'm trying really very hard not to cry over you because every tear is just one more reminder that I don't know how to let you go

and people,this is what i learnt and i believe that,totally.

--> If you love something,set it free. If it's yours,it'll come back to you,maybe not now,but later. But if it does not,it was never meant to be (if you watch Sex and the City,then you'll get what i meant)

and lastly Timmy,

--> I love you not because i need you. I need you because i love you

There's only 2 times where i wanna love you,

which is NOW AND FOREVER.

I LOVE YOU and that a guy like you is impossible to fine :( <------ yes,i meant it.

On another note,what happened to me on 5.30am in the morning today,is horrible. I thought i ALMOST DIED or something. The horrible pain from the chest and rib cage is really terrible which it can't even make me move/turn or to breathe in properly. I was having an asthma attack at the same time. It got worst after putting down the phone. I couldn't get to sleep,but to say my prayers and hopefully i'm gonna be fine. Probably,god dosen't want me to die first because he wants me to repent. I think so too. It's not a joke,it happened to me just now and it's a serious matter. I think,i have to ask the doctor to refer me to the hospital and see what's my exact sickness/illness. And,this totally makes me scared :( I wanted to tell Tim about it,but im afraid he might not interested in hearing it :( Tim,do you wanna know about it? :(

Labels: it's crazy what i went through :(

❤ "" was Posted On: Monday, October 13, 2008 @11:43 | 0 lovely comments ✿

No plans for today,and i slept the whole entire day! =D I had my phone convo with my Kaisha Bby from 12 midnight till 4 a.m in the morning and i woke up at 6.30 p.m IN THE EVENING. Awesome right? BAGOS. Anyways,Met Tim yesterday to celebrate my belated birthday and so,he gave me a NEW VANS SKATE SHOE which is in black and purple in colour! Another awesome shit =] I love it,really cause he knew,my skate shoe is filles with dust now. (and i still unsure where's DC my skate shoe). After then,we dine in at Swensens for our lunch as my treat for the birthday. Anyways,the Mosh Party Gig was terribly boring. Me and Reezan keeps on yawning and wish we're at home,sleeping. No moshpits,no nothing. Boring nak mampos. And 3 weeks,i getto HOLD and HUG Tim! SUKE AH ABEH?! hahahaha =P

Mine's

His

Last february's picture. Anyways,Tim told me that he wanted to tell me something - which is although we're not in a real relationship right now,if i ever wanna date anyone,go ahead. Cause his friends and himself pitied me for still holding on although he wanna be single for now. Yes,we're back dating incase you're unsure. But i've told him,i've already promised,no matter what,no one can ever replace him in my heart,NEVER. I don't want anyone else to make my life beautiful. He insisted on me to try,but after explaining a few stuffs to him,he then understand. Baby,i only need another final chance to prove everything to you,to prove that i CAN be your almost perfect girlfriend in this universe,i can baby i CAN. And,you can take your time,i don't mind as i understands fully. Everyone has started to realise my changes,or maybe not you yet. We can try everything back again,but maybe not now. Once i think i'm perfectly fine,WE SHALL. And Timmy,i love you and not anyone else kay. I miss you too,veryveryvery much. And i bet,you feels the same way too,don't lie lah! If not,you wouldn't hug me tight last night! kaaaaaaaaaaan? =DDD

I miss our late night phone convo,it's been 3 weeks already. But nevermind it can still wait. I can't wait for mine's with Kaisha Bby later tonight! We shall talk again and again like last night now that N levels are OVER! wohoooooooooooooo! =DDDD Menstruation cramp suck BIG TIME,so does this back pain. See,you still care for me,only that you don't wanna make it obvious. Please don't get yourself confuse baby. Please don't. Whatever it is,for the very FIRST TIME in my whole entire life,i've promised to wait for you,till whenever as i know things will be much more perfect in future. That's the promise i'm holding on strong until,whenever.

Labels: little turtle

❤ "" was Posted On: Saturday, October 11, 2008 @20:07 | 0 lovely comments ✿

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